Put yourself first

Guide to Self

1st Step:  Alone Time

Gift yourself 15 minutes of alone time each week, minimum. During this time, I want you to be completely alone and in a silent place. This time is not for productivity of any kind. That means no emails, cooking, cleaning, or exercising. It is also not meant for screens so no TV or scrolling. The purpose of this habit is to be alone in your body and let the thoughts flow. Here are some suggestions on how to spend your 15 minutes:

  • Meditation

  • Nature or neighborhood walk

  • Stretching

  • Bubble bath

  • Staring at the wall

2nd Step:  Add the Glimmers

The opposite of a trigger is a glimmer. Things in life that make you have a small burst of happy chemicals. I want you to pay attention to the small things in your life that bring you pure joy. Another way to think about it is romancing yourself. Putting more glimmers in your life might look like pouring a cup of tea, lighting some candles and reading a book. Or it might look like a movie night with a fuzzy blanket and popcorn. Music can add a certain sparkle to your mood and day. Be intentional about putting more glimmers into your week. Here are some ideas:

  • Drawing/poetry

  • Candles

  • Flowers

  • Favorite books or movies

  • Music/dancing/singing

3rd Step:  Create the Vision

If you do not know where you are going, it doesn't matter which way you go--that’s a lesson from the Cheshire cat. So where do you want to go? Make a vision board of what you want your life to be right now or in 1 year. Put the vision board up in your home so you can see it every day. Things to include on your board:

  • Dream home aesthetic

  • Money goals

  • Parenting inspiration

  • Confidence affirmations

  • Nick-nacks that bring positive memories

  • Romance/sex images

  • Vocational ideas

  • Calming scenery

4th Step:  Social Groups

Being a human is so much easier when you do it with other humans. Join or form a group in your community and enjoy the impact that has on your mental health. You can find groups on meetup.com and Facebook. I have a list of some groups in the Denver area that I recommend, for men and/or women. Make sure the group has similar values or visions that you want (not necessarily have). Want to build meaningful relationships with women? Find a group of men who also want that. Want to prioritize yourself in your motherhood? Find a group of moms who do that. You may have to shop around. Be intentional, its worth it.

The End

There is no end to self care. The 4 steps above are meant only strengthen the relationship you have with yourself and therefor lead you only deeper. You may crave more and different self care after finishing this guide. I am here if you have any questions, please email me!

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